So, who else is still waiting?

I'm still not all the way settled in here. (Here being the brand new town of Athens.) I wonder why I haven't kicked myself harder in the butt to get going and get out of my friend's apartment. I have to, and let me make this clear, HAVE TO get an apartment this week and at least one job by the next. I do hope I can make it. September will be my "hell month" I'm sure. This sounds all melodramatic, I know, and I KNOW it won't be bad. The worst will be the anxiety in my head. This whole experience has taught me that I am such a wuss! Unless things are handed to me or my hand is held as I'm led to whatever is already pre-planned for me, I am too scared to make a move. I realize that most of what my life has been has been handed to me. I guess these past weeks I was almost waiting for the same thing to happen. Realizing this makes me feel like a brat. I know I should be spending this time delving deeper into the Word and praying for God to guide me, but I have been slacking in that area. I know there is a connection with the anxiety I feel and my lack of trust that God will place me where He wants me.
And when I look back on it, this time hasn't been a total waste. I have had much fun these past days. I got to see alot of old school peeps, enjoy a bachelorette party, AND I pet a shark!
Not a bad way to spend an August I say.

New City? New Job? New Life?

Well I up and moved to Athens in the middle of the night. When I look back on my life I realize that most of my major decisions have been made in an instant, and seeing as I have loved my life so far perhaps my immediate decision isn't such a rash one. I spent today doing two things. One: Driving around the city and figuring out where my bank was and other establishments. And Two: Freaking out. I don't know why not having an agenda frightens me so! Dustin came back from his Philosophy class with a syllabus and I wanted so much to take it from him and begin lessons or plead to him, "Let me do your homework!" I never wanted to graduate. I never got to the point of saying, "gosh I hate this place. I can't wait till it is all over and I am outta here." I loved college. I think this further reassures me that grad school is supposed to be in my future. (I yearn for it so much that I have felt physically sick for the lack of structure in my life.) I am glad that I have such good friends to put up with my sorry self right now. At the moment I am a free-loading bum, and it is okay with them. Joel is my hero of the week, giving up a key, beeper thing for the gate to the apartments, and his own bed so that I can feel comfortable whilst searching for purpose in Athens. Thank you Lord for Joel. Also, thank you for the awesomeness that is Dustin. He has been calming me down and giving me encouragement all day. I love that he doesn't refer to me as a homeless, jobless, leech on society, but rather uses the term, "free-spirit."
I know God is moving and I know it will all be okay. I just have to get my body to believe that before I have to be taken to the hospital.